What to Do When You Overeat, Overdrink, or Drift Away from the Life You Really Want There have been many times when I've found myself standing in the kitchen at the end of a long, stressful day, reaching for a glass of wine. Not because I was celebrating. Not because I truly wanted it. But because I was tired, overwhelmed, lonely, or simply trying to escape my thoughts for a little while. I would pour the glass telling myself, "I deserve this. It's been a hard day." Yet deep down, I often knew the wine wasn't what I really needed. What I truly needed might have been rest, connection, comfort, a good cry, a walk outside, or simply a few quiet moments to breathe and check in with myself. Maybe you can relate. Perhaps you've found yourself reaching for another snack when you're not really hungry. Or pouring another glass of wine even though you promised yourself you wouldn't. Maybe you've spent the day scrolling, procrastinating, overthinking, or listening to that familiar inner voice that whispers, "What's wrong with me? Why can't I just do what I know I want to do?" For years, I thought these moments meant I lacked willpower or discipline. I believed something was wrong with me. But what I've learned is this: We often don't need more willpower. We need more awareness. Sometimes what looks like self-sabotage is really a signal from our mind, body, or heart that something deeper needs attention. If this sounds familiar, please know this: You are not failing. You are being human. And every moment of awareness is an opportunity to begin again with compassion instead of criticism. That's where real change begins. Most women over 40 have spent decades caring for others, pushing through challenges, meeting expectations, and putting their own needs on the back burner. Sometimes what looks like self-sabotage is actually a sign that your mind, body, or heart needs attention, compassion, and care. The good news? You don't have to wait for a perfect Monday, a new month, or a major life overhaul to begin again. You can start right where you are. Step 1: Pause Before You Judge Yourself The moment you realize you've slipped into an old habit, resist the urge to criticize yourself. Instead, gently ask: "What's going on for me right now?" Awareness creates choice. Shame keeps us stuck. Compassion helps us move forward. Take a deep breath and remind yourself: "This is a moment of awareness, not a moment of failure." Step 2: Use HALT One of the simplest tools for understanding emotional eating, over drinking, and other self-defeating behaviors is HALT. Ask yourself: H – Am I Hungry? A – Am I Angry or Anxious? L – Am I Lonely? T – Am I Tired? Many times, what we're craving isn't food or alcohol at all. We're craving comfort, connection, rest, safety, or relief. When you identify the real need, you can begin meeting it in a healthier way. Step 3: Get Curious, Not Critical Instead of asking: "Why do I keep doing this?" Try asking: What was I feeling before this happened? What am I trying not to feel? What do I truly need right now? What would be the most loving thing I could do for myself? Curiosity opens the door to growth. Criticism slams it shut. Step 4: Interrupt the Loop Negative thought loops can feel like a hamster wheel that never stops. When you notice yourself spiraling, try one of these simple resets: Take a 5-Minute Walk Movement changes your state and helps release stress. Practice a Short Meditation Close your eyes and focus on your breathing for just two minutes. Inhale peace. Exhale tension.

Transformation blocks, a.k.a. “Why am I eating the third piece of chocolate when I clearly said one?” I’ve been noticing something about myself… and maybe you’ll recognize this too. I want to be healthy. I want to feel comfortable in my clothes (including the really cute ones hanging in the back of the closet). I want to feel energized, confident, and at my ideal weight. And yet… When I’m faced with a very real, very human moment— “Do I want the dessert?” “Do I want one piece of chocolate… or enough to fill my emotional void?” “Do I stop at comfortably full… or clean my plate like the well-trained woman I was raised to be?” Let’s just say… I don’t always choose the version of me I want to be. In fact, more often than I’d like to admit, I find myself doing the exact opposite of what I say I want. So… what is that about? When We Know Better… But Don’t Do Better As a nurse, I’ve had some very honest conversations with patients about their health. Conversations where the truth is sitting right there in the room. Sometimes I would gently—but directly—ask: “Do you want to live? Because the choices you’re making are taking you in the opposite direction.” And here’s the surprising part: Many people would say they want to be healthy… but their actions told a completely different story. It’s easy to see the disconnect when it’s someone else. It’s much harder to see it when it’s us… standing in the kitchen… holding a fork. The Real Reason (It’s Not About Willpower) For a long time, I thought this was a willpower problem. Interestingly: it’s not. It’s an identity problem . If I’m being completely honest, this is how I’ve seen myself for years: “I’m someone who struggles with weight.” “I’m someone who starts and stops.” “I don’t really like exercise.” “I’m a little inconsistent… okay, maybe more than a little.” So even when I do eat well for a while… Even when I do go to the gym consistently… Even when I do feel amazing… There’s this quiet voice underneath it all whispering: “How long is this going to last?” And eventually… I prove that voice right. Not because I’m weak. Not because I don’t care. But because my identity hasn’t caught up with my effort . The Shift That Changes Everything The real work isn’t forcing yourself to behave differently. The real work is becoming someone different— from the inside out . Because when your identity shifts, your choices follow. Instead of: “I’m trying to eat healthy…” It becomes: “I’m a woman who takes care of her body.” Instead of: “I should go for a walk…” It becomes: “Movement is just part of who I am.” This isn’t about pressure. It’s not about perfection. And it’s definitely not about another strict plan that works for two weeks and then disappears. It’s about gently, consistently reshaping the way you see yourself.

Exploring The Power. Today I invite you to go on an adventure with me. We are going to explore the power of Woo Hoo! And what that simple 2 syllable phrase can do for our lives and those we influence. Recently I heard a story about John, a young man who loves climbing mountains even when they are icy. He was climbing with a group of friends when the weather turned very cold and a blizzard started blowing. They set up their tents on the side of the mountain with the fierce cold and powerful wind threatening their very lives. An idea came to him that he had heard of. Woo Hoo! He shouted into the deafening wind and raised his fist in the air! His friends looked at him like he had lost it. He then went on to yell Woo-Hoo again and started pointing out all the things that were going right for them. They had shelter, they had food, and most importantly they had each other. With this perspective the atmosphere changed in the cramped tent from worry and fear to hope and resilience . They started joking and laughing. The storm lasted for a couple of days but every time they felt anxiety creeping in someone would yell Woo Hoo causing them to smile, laugh, and start looking at what they had versus what they feared or how cold they were. Rob had found a secret! He and his friends went from just surviving to thriving in the midst of life-threatening challenges. Now this story impressed me, however, as I am not a climber and my challenges are rather mundane. I wondered how Woo Hoo could impact my life. My husband and I are building a home just outside of Sedro Woolley. We have been living in a 5 th wheel for 1 year and 9 months, 2 days, 8 hours and 25 minutes… One of the least favorite chores I do is take our dirty clothes to the laundromat every 2 weeks. On this Thursday two days after hearing that story, I was hurtling the dirty clothes into piles muttering to my dogs how I hate lugging all of the heavy baskets of clothing down the steps, to my truck, then into the laundromat and dealing with machines that sometimes eat my money or refuse to clean my clothes. An idea popped in my mind… Woo Hoo! I yelled, pumping my fist in the air! Startling myself and the dogs I again yelled Woo Hoo! I get to take my clothes to a laundromat where they have machines and hot water to get the dirt out of my clothes! I don’t have to scrub them by hand! Instantly, I grinned as I felt joy and gratitude bubbling up where just seconds ago resentment and irritation were monopolizing my thoughts.

A Burning Desire for Growth As I thought about what I would like to share with you. I keep thinking about my “Why’s” for anything I do. I thought you might enjoy reading my first speech I gave to my Toastmasters group: ( Toastmasters is a club you can join to help anyone improve their public speaking skills) “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to stand before you today and share my WHY for joining Toastmasters when public speaking has always been right near the top of my phobia list. It is second only to swinging by a cord high up – overlooking Yosemite Valley while climbing Half Dome! My “why” for joining Toastmasters, however, is rooted in a burning desire for growth— I want to communicate effectively and give compelling messages to ignite the joy of living and to inspire the hope of healthy wellbeing in all areas of life, I want to help anyone with any dream they have to not only create the dream but to experience the incredible satisfaction of becoming that person in their dream! I realize that in order to share my ideas, connect with others, and make a positive impact, I need to develop courage and the tools to express myself confidently. Why do I want to find my voice??? Well let me tell you. I am the first-born daughter and first-born granddaughter of a pretty dysfunctional family that goes back as many generations that I know of. I am and have been a wife, a very young mother, now a grandmother and registered nurse for well we won’t mention how many years… . … and during that time my many roles dominated my life so that I was not sure who I really was. As a middle-aged single woman, I finally had time, too much time- I realized how lost I was… The abuse and trauma in my life as a child and later in my first marriage had set the stage for my limiting ideas about life and yet I knew there must be answers out there…I started a healing journey with therapy, insightful books, and last year I started listening to podcasts created by Life Coaches. I am so grateful for the help I received and the people who have provided light along the way. I wanted a way to give back for all the joy and health I have found in my journey so I decided to become a Life and Health Coach myself! I recently graduated from two coaching schools with certifications for Health and Life Coaching and I am ready to share the message of hope and life! So talking about roles…As I mentioned the roles I have had in my life I am sure you could picture what those might be like but the funny thing is when I mention becoming a Life and Health Coach to most folks I get a blank stare… I know the feeling because I had no idea either until I investigated it. As I studied Life and Health Coaching, I experienced transformation for myself! I came to understand that true healing happens when we address the whole person— body, mind, and spirit. With small, sustainable changes we can create meaningful transformation in any area of life. One of the most important breakthroughs is the mindset and identity beliefs that change and dissolve lifelong blocks which help us develop positive habits from the inside out. So instead of seeing myself as deathly afraid of public speaking I can slowly and gently shift my mindset to: I just love using my voice to inspire hope and joy.